Santa Claus, like any air carrier, gets regular visits from Federal Aviation Administration inspectors. And it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA inspector arrived. This inspection would involve a flight check renewing Santa's status as the chief pilot at his air carrier.In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sleigh and bathe all the reindeer. Santa made sure his logbook and all his paperwork were in order. The elf A&P mechanics made double sure all the required inspections and Airworthiness Directives for the sleigh were up to date and properly logged.
The inspector checked Santa's pilot logbook, determining he was qualified and current. He checked the maintenance logs, and found them to be in perfect order. Then he walked slowly around the sleigh. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He especially painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sleigh's enormous payload. The payload was a primary concern on the visit, since no other operators fly with anywhere near as much cargo on a single flight. And Santa operates with a special FAA waiver to fly the craft with only one pilot. So they keep an eye on him.
Finally, they were ready for the flight check. Santa got in, fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness, got out the checklist and powered up the shiny new GPS navigation system. Then the inspector hopped in, carrying to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The inspector said sternly, "Any multi-engine rated pilot should know to expect this. You're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
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