Here's some fun stuff I made up during a discussion on a humor mail list at work. Several of us were exchanging "You Know You're From..." lists about the places we're from. I was the only Silicon Valley native in the group so I wrote up this one...
You know you're from Silicon Valley when...
You have at least three computers at home.
You own at least one domain on the Internet, probably several.
You think it's normal to see chip-design software or relational databases advertised on freeway billboards.
You know that California isn't just one big beach.
You know that not everyone in California surfs.
You know there's lots of skiing in California.
You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts.
You're appalled that you can't get (fill in the blank: ADSL, cable modem, etc) at your place. After all, we're supposed to have everything for techies in Silicon Valley, right?
You can't answer the question about any good tourist spots in Silicon Valley, because you haven't been to any of them.
You tell the immigrants from other states that you remember when [fill in any landmark] was a farm or orchard.
If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know what they're talking about.
You take your out-of-town friends to see the techie gadgets at Fry's. But you don't let them buy anything.
You know how to recognize re-sealed returned electronics at Fry's.
You don't ask the staff any questions at Fry's. You know they hire idiots and pass the savings on to you.
You watch dot-com boomers go back to the states they came from, and the traffic gets better by the month. But you are home so you're not moving.
You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends.
You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you visit the mountains.
For that matter, you're a road hazard any time you get on the road.
You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools.
You think bicycles don't belong on the road.
You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road.
Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make... until you tell them how much you pay for housing.
You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars.
You do a "California stop" at stop signs. And you think it's only Californians who call them that.
You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them. But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you.
You correct anyone from the East Coast when they mention what will happen when the "Big One" hits. Actually everything east of California will fall in the Atlantic.
You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit.
You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake.
You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first.
You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the 101". It's just "101". No "the".
You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the ground.
At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And you froze your little *@#!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind.
And the Number One reason you know you're from Silicon Valley is when...
You say you're from Silicon Valley because no one knows where San Jose is.
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